matt is fun
Friday, March 31, 2006
Even though recent photo evidence that was intended to prove that Iraq is safe and peaceful has been discredited, I do not think it is sensible to draw the positive conclusion from this that Iraq is unsafe or not peaceful. Furthermore, I believe that photo evidence in general has not been discredited, as a means for telling the untold story of Iraq’s safety and peacefulness.

To be sure, if one has current pictures of Iraq that portray safety, it will be thereby demonstrated that the Liberal media is missing something, as it exclusively reports stories of violence and civil war… It just so happens that I have such evidence from my Iraq trip. Observe these photos of peace and draw your own conclusions.

  My Friend Brian Actually Had a Beer with John Kerry Last Night
This flies in the face of a right wing smear campaign, whose aim it was to show that drinking a beer with Kerry is logically impossible. I think Brian has provided us with a proof of the possibility of drinking a beer with Kerry, albeit too late.

According to election-time wisdom, Bush was supposed to be the go to guy for drinks at Hooters and shit like that, while Kerry was the lamestain. But, even though the election is over, permit me to suggest that this characterization was always threatened by Bush's sobriety and Kerry's radical Samuel Adams-drinking-ass.
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
  Remesh Ponnuru hates death and political parties that support it.

Is the guy who wrote the book The Party of Death—in which it is ‘argued’ that Democrats maintain a pro-death agenda, and only Republicans can stop them (because Democrats are so menacingly powerful right now)—is this the same guy who gives sympathetic nods to atom-bomb-dropping on our enemies and also to increased tolerance towards wartime “collateral damage” i.e. having a more chill attitude over dead innocents?

Is it me or do these endorsements sound slightly pro death? Not that anyone is explicitly pro death. Any book title that implies otherwise is what we would call a Strawman book title. But his rhetorical dishonesty is less important than the fact that this young man is obviously confused about what kinds of political decisions yield the most harm for humanity.

It also strikes me that Ponnuru is more eager to consider explanations of violence towards innocents in the case of manly wars, than he is to consider the relevant conditions under which womanly women receive abortions. Killing in war is understandable because of x, y, z, while controlling birth must be an issue of indulgent death-lust. The charity principle probably ought not be applied so selectively.

Anyway, this book, The Party of Death, which will probably be on the Great Books List in 100 years, is edited by our boy Ben Domenech, which is funny because he knows a lot about parties—those of death and otherwise. Just check out this super article in which he pretended to give his own opinions about parties.

  My Favorite Song Right Now
is Ghostface's "Back like that." Maybe you should listen to it.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
  What Ben Domenech had written on the topic of partying before he decided to steal P.J. O'Rourke's party story.

So, you may know about the now resigned Washington Post Blogger, Ben Domenech.

Apparently in dec. of 2000 under lots of pressure from his college news paper to put out the great American Account of "Real Parties," Domenech cracked and just stole funnyman (sic) P. J. O’Rourke’s party story-- a very self destructive move for a future gurrrnalist. So why would someone do something like this?

The following is a draft, showing us what the earlier pre-plagiarized party story looked like. Its quality (or lack t/o) gives us some insight into why a young man would choose to steal a PJ O’Rourke story over composing his own.


An Expert Article on Partying by the Party Expert Himself


Ben Domenech (Party Expert)

Contrasting Real and Fake Parties:

Real Parties are very, very, very, very fun.
Fake parties are not even parties… at all.

At a real party you will stay up late and make fun of Clinton’s welfare state and eat muchies (like combos, or Rold-Gold Pretzels, or cereal snacks).
At a fake party, you will be asleep and therefore not eating anything, and probably also not even dreaming about how welfare is so bad.

At a real party there are no taxes.
At a fake party you have to pay taxes, which impinge on your liberty.

Each of the following items will never be idenitcal to a "real party" due to categorical differences:

Retrograde Motion

Party Etiquette:

Never have a party alone.
Never copy someone else’s party, for that would be a fake party, even if it otherwise had the qualities of a real party.
Never give handouts, government or otherwise.
Never have a pizza party with not enough pizzas for all of the magic card players.

Whom to invite:

People who can party a lot, cuz partying is cool.
Promise Keepers
Funnyman P.J. O’Rourke, cuz his book that I am reading now is so funny and cool.
People who know to use the word “whom” in cases where the pronoun “who” is not nominative (like I did above).
People who will bring Final Fantasy games and toys.
The University of Richmond
Pat Robertson
Your Parents

Whom not to invite:

Curse word users
The Party of Death
“Affirmative Action Recipients”


A reasonable volume is expected by all guests, so that inter-guest-conversation is not disturbed. As for musical content, allow me to recommend Ben Folds Five, for their excellent song that condemns abortion, “Brick.” (Note to reader: Your party will last longer than this song, so plan to include other Ben Folds Five songs, or to play this one a few times over).

Thank You Notes:

Never copy someone else’s thank you note, even if it clearly gets your point across better and makes you look cooler to other people than the note you were going to write. Don’t do it, even if there is a note there in front of you that you are looking at, and it is very good (like even if P.J. O’Rourke wrote it), and you are getting pressure from other people to write the note, and what you have already written is not that good.

But you must write a thank you note, or else it looks bad.


Obviously these are pictures of me do'n hick things.

Friday, March 24, 2006
  If only I could be Pierce Bush’s TA…

You may have seen this hilarious interview, in which 20 year old Pierce Bush (P-Bushy 2028) accuses Dubai port deal opponents (critics of his uncle, G. Dub.) of racism.

He defended (if you can call it that) this view earlier in a letter to the Houston Chronicle.

Having TA-ed 20 year olds a bit, it was clear to me that the case that Pierce presented in this document could have been a bit stronger. As his TA, these are the constructive comments that I would have provided for him.

Thursday, March 23, 2006
  Some Possible Bush Responses to Recent Accusations that he Relies too heavily on Strawman Arguments in his Speeches

1) Some folks have recently said that I am made entirely out of straw. I strongly disagree. I have a soul and body and a brain, all of which are made from God’s love. And how could they say that about the commander and chief in a time of war?

2) There are some really decent people who believe that we should draw straws to arrive at a plan to fix Iraq. But that is a foolhardy policy. Instead we should pray to get such a plan.

3) My opponents will say that every single thing I have ever said is a Strawman fallacy. Well, that is just false. I say things like “Hey Laura, nice school teach’n” which is not even a characterization of anyone’s argument.

4) Some say that I want to use Democrats as straw men to scare away crows from the crops. Nothing is farther from the truth. I want to reach across the isle to work with Democrats so that I can get authorized more often to use force against some other countries.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006
  Reductio b-ad pictorum

Here is my reductio on Plato's Republic, which I just had the misfortune of familiarizing myself with.

This book is a piece of shit.

It is time to export it forever from philosophy to classics, or literature, or just to someplace where bad arguments and fascist idealism are less incompatible with the curriculum.
  Two Views that Suggest the Primitiveness of their Supporters
1) The un-philosophical life is not worth living.

2) The Philosopher King is the ideal political leader.

Both of these views have origins in ancient philosophy, where cheerleading for philosophy was first included in the content of philosophy itself. I am more concerned with primitive people who are alive now and who subscribe to this shit, rather than with dead primitive people, so the following comments are aimed at the former, less dead group.

The first view 1) means either just “yah philosophy!”, or “yah philosophy and if you haven’t thought this also then your life is without value” or something in between.

People in other disciplines, it seems to me, are often too busy producing other things to spend their work time justifying their jobs. What is weird about this thesis, though, is not just the amount of time ‘philosophers’ spend defending it (when they could be doing work), but that philosophy is the kind of discipline with low enough standards to allow positive value judgments about it to count as philosophy itself.

I suppose evidence could support the weaker claim that philosophy helps people in ways x, y, and z. Guaranteed though, almost no one who advances this view has such evidence, and they probably wouldn’t even count it as philosophy if they had it.

View 2) is a combination of “yah philosophy” and an attempted power grab. It is very odd to me. I guess if you believe philosophy people are the smartest, best, and all that, then you also think that they should lead nations. This view, however, that philosophy people are so great (which certainly lacks empirical support), seems to be nothing more than the kind of shitty narrow discipline-egoism that you find in the mouths of many academic assholes. I am guessing that there are enough jerk-personalities in the sciences who would use science to advance the notion of Science Kings, if the discipline did not have strict rules that precluded such non-sense from counting as science.

So much the worse for philosophy—for 2000 years it has been unable to block self-congratulation from its content.
  Some things that people around Matt do not enjoy enough

I just watched the last episode of season 3 of "Home Movies" last night, while my partner (henceforth PartnerC2000) lay passed out on the bed from Bronx-teaching induced narcolepsy. This show is one of the funniest I have ever seen.

My complaint is not so much with PartnerC2000, who likes lots of things but sleeps through most of them. Rather it is with a broader group of people who surround me and have seen one or two episodes of this show and set it aside. There are also those who have never seen it, and so are lucky in that they have three seasons of amazingness ahead of them, but unlucky if they will never discover it. To both of these groups I strongly recommend "Home Movies." (By strong recommendation I mean watch this or fuck you).

Other shows/movies that are incredible, and yet not perfectly received:

The Wire
Hudson Hawk
Monday, March 20, 2006
  A Few Pictures Depicting my Mansfield-like strength

These pictures should give you an idea of how manly this blogger is!
A piece of the cyber-web (internets) allowing Matt to share information units.

My Photo
Location: Astoria, New York

Matt also enjoys music, sweatpants, eating eggs for breakfast w/his friends, Berlin, and making pictures.

March 2006 / April 2006 / May 2006 / June 2006 /

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